


Of Love and Duty

by silvertrails



Series: Our Love [12]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Fingon returns to Tirion after ten years of absence. Written for the SWD 2013.





	1. Chapter 1

**Of Love and Duty  
** By CC  
July, 2013 

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended. 

This story is set in Tirion 1350, the year when Turgon and Finrod come of age. As I assume Curufin was born the same year, he’s come of age too. Angrod and Aegnor are still very young. 

This was written for the Silmarillion Writer’s Guild’s Season of Writing Dangerously 2013.

* * *

_Prologue: Valmar, 1310_

The Light of the Trees was simply too bright, Findekáno mused as he stood alone on one of the palace’s towers. Even at this early hour when Telperion was not fully awake, the Vanyarin city seemed to be out of this world. It was the same when it was Telperion the one bathing the city in its golden light, making it shine like a jewel at the feet of Taniquetil. Even after ten years of living in King Ingwë’s palace Findekáno still missed the less bright, but much more vibrant streets of Tirion.

Nolofinwë had forgotten about him now that he had another son, one who would surely be more obedient than Findekáno. The few times Findekáno had seen Turukáno, he had been disturbed by the way his little brother resembled their father. It made him feel out of place, as if he did not belong with his family anymore. Whenever he was allowed to attend a festivity in Tirion, his parents would keep a close eye on him and make sure that he didn’t cross paths with Maitimo. They could not stop him from talking to Makalaurë, though, so letters were exchanged and hidden, to be read once he was back in his quarters at King Ingwë’s palace.

_We vowed to find a way to be together, but it is not working, Maitimo. Our sires have succeeded in keeping us apart. I wonder if that means that Ilúvatar disapproves of our love…_

Findekáno closed his eyes, rebelliousness and resignation warring in his mind. He could not remember loving anyone else than Maitimo, and it seemed unfair that he should stay alone until the end of time. He had read stories about Cuiviénen and the ways of the Quendi, and learned about what the authors believed to be forbidden love. Ellons did not mate with Ellons, and Ellyth should not assume that they could live together as a bonded couple. It was unnatural, and those who felt like that should stay apart and try to make the best of a life in solitude. 

He had also read other stories, found in old libraries in Tirion, where the love between Ellons or between Ellyth was not considered a sin. He had been quite young back then and barely aware of the quality of his feelings for Maitimo. He had brought the books home and hidden them in his bedroom. Eventually, Anairë had found about the books and taken them away. Nolofinwë had given Findekáno a long talk about the ways of the Quendi and given him a new book to read, about animals and plants in the Outer Lands. 

It had made him curious about Cuiviénen and the life there. When asked, Finwë had been more than glad to tell Findekáno stories about his life in the Outer lands, and so it had become a topic of conversation whenever the king of the Noldor could spare a whole afternoon to be with his grandsons. Makalaurë would ask about the music instruments, while little Tyelkormo would look at illustrations of the animals that lived outside Cuiviénen. Maitimo would make few questions, mostly related to the way the Quendi dealt with everyday issues like raising crops and solving disputes. Findekáno would listen to everything and dream of a day when he would travel to those lands with his cousins.

Years later, first Maitimo, and then Findekáno, had come to live at Finwë’s palace for short periods of time, to learn about the administration of the city and its trade agreements with the other Elven realms. They also studied with the masters of lore, and even spent long hours listening to Fëanáro’s speech on the misuse of the Noldor language. 

They had free access not only to Finwë’s library but to his stables, which allowed them to leave Tirion together and spend the day outside the city. It had been like a dream come true, spending time with Maitimo without anyone interrupting their conversations, not yet daring to express their feelings for each other, still unsure of what they actually felt. 

Reality had crushed their dreams years later, after Findekáno refused to marry Aurelissë as his parents expected. He had finally dared to speak with Maitimo about his feelings and they had vowed to find a way to stay together. That had been ten years ago. Their sires had realized what was going on and decided to intervene. Fëanáro had taken Maitimo and his older brothers out of Tirion on a long trip, and Nolofinwë had sent Findekáno to the Vanyarin city. 

_I could simply escape and…_

The sound of light steps shook Findekáno out of his musings. He turned around, schooling his expression into a calm mask.

“What is it, Varamë?”

“Excuse me, Prince Findekáno. King Ingwë requests your presence in the throne chamber. A visitor has arrived.”

“Is it my father?” Findekáno blurted out before he could stop himself. Nolofinwë would never have approved of him conversing with the servants. 

“I am not allowed to tell you more, Your Highness,” Varamë said. “The King only said that you should make haste.”

Findekáno sighed inwardly. “I will be there shortly then. That will be all, Varamë.”

Varamë bowed respectfully and left, obviously relieved at not being questioned further. Findekáno returned to his quarters and changed into something more formal. He fixed his braids quickly, no time to thread them with gold, and soon he was standing before the throne chamber, waiting for the seneschal to announce him.

“Prince Findekáno Nolofinwion.” 

King Ingwë looked up and smiled, but it was the visitor who broke protocol and walked towards Findekáno.

“Findekáno,” Finwë said warmly before embracing him. 

“Grandfather, I am glad to see you.” 

Finwë let him go and smiled. “I have missed you, child. It is time that you return to Tirion.”

Findekáno tensed, but before he could say anything King Ingwë rose and walked toward them. “I will see you later,” he told them. 

“Thank you, my friend.”

A look passed between both kings and Findekáno wondered if Finwë was thanking Ingwë for more than leaving his throne chamber to them. The courtiers dutifully left the chamber, not without bowing to Finwë.

“Has Father changed his mind?” Findekáno asked once they were alone.

Finwë’s expression fell a bit. “No, child, but this is not his decision anymore. I am summoning you back to Tirion as your King, though I would do the same as your grandfather.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will not return to Nolofinwë’s house for now. It is time you continue your studies with the lore masters. Maitimo is already there.”

“But Father… and Uncle Feänaro…”

“My sons already know of my decision. Maitimo has been traveling around Aman with Fëanáro for too long, and ten years is more than enough for you to get acquainted with your Vanyarin heritage. I will have no more of this nonsense.”

“I am grateful, Grandfather. I just wished Father understood.”

“Your father will come around, Findekáno. I will make sure of it.”

So his father would rather leave him in Valmar… 

Findekáno nodded. “I hope that Turukáno is a better son to him.”

“Don’t say that, Findekáno. Your father loves you dearly. Now go to your rooms and gather whatever you need for the trip back, and the first days in Tirion. I will send someone to get the rest of your belongings later. I will stay here today, and speak to Ingwë about a few urgent matters. I want you to join us for luncheon, though. We will leave shortly after the first mingling of the Lights.”

For a moment Findekáno just stood and looked at Finwë. He was going back to Tirion, and he would spend time with Maitimo. He would probably see his father and surely Nolofinwë would voice his displeasure, but it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered to him was that he would see Maitimo again.

“Thank you, Grandfather,” Findekáno said, embracing Finwë again. “I will never forget your kindness.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Tirion, YT 1350_

Maitimo set his tools aside and looked at the circlet he had made for Mahtan. It was one of his best, and he was certain that it would please his grandfather. Maitimo would never be as good as Fëanáro, but that didn’t matter anymore. His brother Curufinwë not only liked to work at the forge, but he was also very talented. Maitimo was glad for it. He still made equestrian figurines, mostly with copper, and jewels for his grandmothers and aunts, but it was a pleasure now. He and the rest of his brothers were still required to work at the forge, but it was mostly Curufinwë who received their father’s attention. 

“Maitimo, I have the gemstones.”

Maitimo smiled at Morifinwë. His brother was happier now that he was allowed to spend more time at the mines. So was Tyelkormo, who hunted for days with Lord Oromë. Even Makalaurë who was careful not to ruin his hands when working the metal looked more relaxed. 

“These are magnificent, Moryo,” Maitimo said. There were green and red jewels, and also small gemstones that seemed to change colors with the light. 

Morifinwë nodded, and Maitimo had the feeling that he wanted to say something else. He always got that particular feeling whenever he spoke with his brother, but there was something else in his eyes.

“You have been dreaming of the Halls again.”

Morifinwë took a seat. “Yes.”

“Have you considered speaking to Grandfather Finwë about this?”

Morifinwë frowned slightly. “No.” 

Maitimo sighed inwardly. “He might be able to… At least, promise me that you will always speak to me if the dreams become too much to bear with.”

Morifinwë looked surprised. “I always tell you, Maitimo. I should go to the house now. I promised Mother that I would help her to move her things to the new workshop.”

“Go on, then.” 

Morifinwë’s dreams worried him, especially because his brother did not remember meeting Lord Namo when he was an elfling. Makalaurë and Tyelkormo had been there, but Fëanáro had forbidden them to speak about it. Morifinwë’s temper could be quite volatile, and they didn’t want him to demand answers from the Lord of Mandos. 

Fëanáro had already done that, anyway.

Maitimo wished he could take Morifinwë with him. Morifinwë liked books and could spend a whole day reading something that caught his attention, but he didn’t do well with tutors. He was too strong a telepath and read their thoughts before they began to speak.

_Well, I will be back in five days. He should be well._

It was time to return to the palace. Maitimo put the gemstones away, and smiled. For all his concern for Morifinwë, he could not deny that he looked forward to seeing Findekáno again. Even if they had to hide their love from everyone, the time they spent with each other was precious.

Maitimo left the forge and hauled up a bucket of water from the well outside. Once he was clean enough, he headed to his bedroom and quickly changed into clean simple clothes and grabbed his backpack. He would take a bath in his rooms in the palace and dress formally for dinner with Finwë and Indis. Findekáno would probably dine with his parents and Turukáno, so he would only arrive in time to listen to the minstrels in Finwë’s Halls. 

“Are you leaving already, my son?”

It was Nerdanel, and she looked tired but quite happy. Morifinwë was with her, carrying a small bronze statue in his arms. It was an image of Míriel Serindë with Fëanáro in her arms. Maitimo had seen it before. 

“I want to arrive early, Mama. I promised Grandfather I would prepare a lecture about the three Elven realms and how they administrate the lands given to them by Lord Manwë. He wants me to present it to his counselors. Grandfather has offered me a place in his council, if I pass the test.”

“You could teach those fools a thing or two,” Fëanáro said. He kissed Nerdanel and smiled at Morifinwë before turning to Maitimo again. 

“You are my heir and the only grandson that Father needs at Court.”

“Fëanáro,” Nerdanel cautioned.

“I am saying the truth.”

“Just be careful, Maitimo,” Morifinwë said suddenly.

They all looked at Morifinwë. Maitimo scrutinized his brother for a sign that he had dreamed of an accident or worse, but there was none. 

“What do you mean, be careful?” Fëanáro’s asked.

“Just that,” Morifinwë said. “I will walk with you for a while, Maitimo.”

Fëanáro opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when Nerdanel shook her head. Morifinwë gave the statue to his father. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“So tell me, Moryo, did you have a dream?” 

“No.”

“Why did you tell me to be careful then?”

“Because your secret could be discovered soon. Uncle Nolo was here while you were at Grandfather’s palace.”

Maitimo stopped walking. “Oh.”

He could remember clearly the day Findekáno returned to Tirion with Finwë. He had been working at the forge with his father when one of his Grandfather’s messengers arrived.

Fëanáro had read the letter in silence and dispatched the messenger with a missive of his own. He had turned to look at Maitimo.

“You will continue your studies at Court since tomorrow.” 

“Of course, Father.”

“Your cousin Findekáno will join you in a few days. I trust you will behave honorably and not bring shame to our House. Nothing has changed, Nelyafinwe.”

“I understand, Father.”

And so Maitimo had returned to the palace and a few days later his cousin had returned to Tirion. It had been a shock to see him. Findekáno was taller than before, but he was also quite thin. His eyes were the same, though.

They had stayed apart during the first weeks, but little by little they had started to spend more time speaking about anything. Finally, they had been unable to restrain themselves anymore and given into their love and passion. Had someone seen them?

Morifinwë’s voice shook Maitimo out of his musings. “Maybe they were speaking about something else.”

“Maybe, but thank you for telling me, Moryo. What will you tell Father when he asks?”

Morinfinwë grinned. “Nothing.”

Maitimo smiled. “All right. Will you go out to hunt with Tyelkormo?”

“Yes, tomorrow, before Telperion waxes. We are going to Lord Oromë’s Halls.”

“That’s good then. You be careful too, Moryo.”

Morifinwë nodded and left. Maitimo watched him walk for a moment, and then turned around and continued his way to the palace.


	3. Chapter 3

It was strange to be home again, Findekáno mused as he listened to his mother speaking about the upcoming celebration at Court. Three of Finwë’s grandsons had come of age, Turukáno among them, and there would be a great feast at the palace. It would include a festival, with food stalls and music on the main square, and a dancing ball inside the palace. King Ingwë and King Olwë would come with their families and delegations of courtiers. Family parties had been celebrated already, and Findekáno had come home for Turukáno’s. That had been when his father had asked him to return home. 

So Findekáno had returned to his father’s house forty years after coming back to Tirion, and he was still trying to get used to it. Nolofinwë had spoken of misunderstandings and regrets, and his quick embrace had said much more than his awkward words. Anairë had tried another approach: to behave as if nothing had happened. They were trying to rebuild a relationship with Findekáno, but it was painfully obvious that Turukáno was everything that he would never be. 

At least his parents had stopped trying to find him a wife, and Findekáno was glad for it. They were looking forward to Turukáno’s bonding with Elenwë, of the Vanyar. Turukáno had met her on one of his visits to Valmar, and was quite taken with her. Anairë seemed to be very happy about it.

“So do you think that Amarië will come to the feast with Elenwë?” she asked. “I have heard they are friends, and I am certain that your cousin Findaráto would be happy to see her.”

“Mama, please…” Turukáno looked properly embarrassed. 

Findekáno smiled to himself, thinking that there was hope for his brother. Being the perfect son was hard and boring, and it was worse if you were part of Nolofinwë’s family. 

“There is nothing wrong in asking,” Anairë stated. “It is only natural that you boys like girls. I heard that your cousin Curufinwë might start courting Telpelindë soon.”

“Did Aunt Nerdanel tell you about it?” Findekáno asked. He already knew about it, because Maitimo had told him, but he could not imagine why his Aunt would speak about this even before Curufinwë asked Telpelindë.

“Certainly not, dear,” Anairë said, and there was a slight change on her expression. “Nerdanel never speaks about these matters. She still hasn’t told us why Isilmë and Makalaurë are not living together anymore.”

Findekáno was about to say that it wasn’t their business when he caught a warning stare from his father. Nolofinwë’s expression was stern; it was obvious that he didn’t trust Findekáno not to start an argument with his mother. 

“I heard that Istië will come to Tirion,” Anairë continued carefully after a short, awkward silence. 

Findekáno nodded. “Yes, she will stay with Nerindë’s family for a few days. Maitimo and I will take them to ride outside the city. We might visit Alqualondë too.”

“Are you certain that Nelyafinwë will have time to go with you?” Nolofinwë asked casually. “I heard from Father that he is busy with a new project.”

“He will be finished before the feast,” Findekáno said. “He wants to meet Nerindë.”

Not for the reason his parents seemed to have in mind. Maitimo was very aware of Nerindë’s love for Istië.

Nolofinwë nodded, though there was a tint of suspicion in his eyes. Findekáno kept a pleasant expression and continued eating, letting the matter drop. His parents engaged in a conversation about the recent changes in civil law. Turukáno seemed to be interested too, so Findekáno just allowed his thoughts to wander. Soon he would be back at the palace, with Maitimo.

“Are you going to prepare an essay for Grandfather’s council?” Turukáno asked. 

Findekáno nodded. “I will.”

They all looked at him expectantly, which made him feel uncomfortable. He loved his parents, and he certainly loved Turukáno and hoped to spend more time with him now that he was back at his father’s house. That didn’t mean that he felt inclined to share everything with them. They had lived apart for fifty years. It wasn’t easy to feel part of the family again. 

It was sad.

_Where is my home now?_

They finished their meal in silence, and when Anairë retired for the night, Nolofinwë followed her. Findekáno waited until the servants finished clearing the table and stood. It was time to return to Finwë’s palace. 

“Do you need to leave at once?” Turukáno asked as they walked together to their bedrooms. 

“My things are packed, so I have some time. What is it?”

“There is something I want to show you. I have been working on a project too, though not as important as Maitimo’s, or whatever is it that you are doing.”

Was that jealousy? Or was it disapproval? Findekáno wondered if Turukáno knew the reasons why their father had sent him to King Ingwë’s Court.

“Every project is important, Turukáno. Tell me about yours.”

Turukáno seemed to relax. “It is a replica of Tirion. Come to my bedroom. I have been working on it after my lessons with Master Moricarmë.”

Findekáno grinned. “Is Master Moricarmë as cranky as I remember him?”

Turukáno grinned back. “And I thought it was me who made him like that.”

They laughed together, which felt good. Findekáno followed his brother, feeling more comfortable around him. Turukáno’s bedroom was quite organized if compared with Findekáno, but in the far corner there was a table with a beautiful replica of the city. 

“That is… amazing!”

“Look,” Turukáno said, quite pleased at Findekáno’s reaction, “here is our home, and here is Grandfather’s palace. This is King Ingwë’s tower, and the main square. It isn’t finished yet, but I am working on it slowly.”

“It is very fine work, Turukáno. Are you planning to become a builder? Or maybe work on building design?”

“I might, though Father seems to expect me to work in Grandfather’s Court when I am older. I would like that too, but I believe that only Findaráto will be called as Arafinwë’s eldest son.”

“If you are interested in working at Court you should speak with Grandfather directly when the time comes, but you should not abandon your other interests, Turukáno. You might regret it later.”

Turukáno nodded. “What about you, brother? Have you abandoned your dreams, or are you happy working in the palace?”

_My dreams, you ask? I cannot even remember what I wanted to do when I was your age…_

“I used to like History,” Findekáno said slowly, “and music, I liked that too. I suppose I can still work on both. I am happy in Grandfather’s palace, if that is what you want to know.”

Turukáno looked at him. “Then I am glad, but come back whenever you can, Findekáno. We all miss you.”

Findekáno nodded awkwardly, but relaxed when Turukáno embraced him. Maybe things would change; maybe he would recover his family, or at least his brother. 

“I will come back, Tunno,” he said, using his brother’s nickname. “And you can visit me at the palace whenever you want.”

Turukáno smiled. “Good-bye, Finno. And good luck with your essay.”

“I will show it to you the next time I visit,” Findekáno said. He headed to his bedroom and grabbed his pack. Most of his things were at his quarters in Finwë’s palace, and he was not planning to bring them back. He would live in his parents’ house for now, but once he finished his studies at Court, he was going to find a place for himself, one he could call home.


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner with Finwë and Indis was pleasant, as always. Indis was an excellent host and always took a great care of the many details involved, from choosing the menu to making sure that everyone was seated next to agreeable company. Many times there were guests to attend, but even if Finwë and Indis were alone, they were always ready for unexpected guests. 

One of such guests had arrived, and was seated with them, speaking of Cuiviénen and the world the Elves had left behind. It was a pity that Findekáno was not present, as he was always incredibly curious about the land where the Elves woke for the first time. What made the guest’s stories unique was that he had died in those lands, so he was still in the process of adapting to life in Aman.

Erelfinë was cousin to King Ingwë, but save for his long, golden hair, he looked more like a Noldor to Maitimo. He traveled around the land, looking for new lands where agriculture was possible. He was also a builder, and he had helped design the new dwellings in the Vanyarin city. He had also lived in King Olwë’s Court for a while and learned how to race in the Teleri’s swan boats. 

He was a very unusual Vanyar, and Maitimo found himself quite absorbed in his tales. His voice had a musical quality that drew everyone in, just like a minstrel’s song would. Erelfinë was not only beautiful, no, it was his personality that…

_What is wrong with me?_

Maitimo closed his eyes briefly, trying to shake himself out of Erelfinë’s spell. It was worse, because he still heard the other Elf’s voice. It was a small mercy that dinner ended at that moment and Indis invited their guest to the gardens, where they would all attend a special performance by minstrels come from Alqualondë. None of them was as good as Makalaurë, Maitimo was certain of it, but surely they would not sing about wild lands and the excitement of meeting with danger at every turn.

He stood and met Erelfinë’s grey eyes. The older Elf seemed to be very aware of Maitimo’s confusion, which made him angry. Why was Erelfinë doing that to him? 

Erelfinë bowed slightly and followed Indis, who was completely unaware of the tension between her guest and Maitimo. Finwë came toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“I will speak to Erelfinë later, Maitimo. Come with us, now. Findekáno should arrive soon, and he will notice your agitation.”

Maitimo nodded, and stood there for a moment before following Finwë and the others to the gardens. Finwë never spoke to him about his relationship with Findekáno, but he seemed to be perfectly aware of what was going on, and to approve. Indis never said anything, but she was always tense whenever she saw them speaking alone. 

As he sat beside Finwë, Maitimo’s mind wandered to his conversation with Morifinwë. He would have to speak with Findekáno about this. Even if their sires were civil to each other, they were not as close as before. An external observer might think that they had never been close to begin with, but Maitimo knew better. 

Nolofinwë used to visit their house often enough, and sometimes brought Lalwendë with him. Something had happened between them shortly before Morifinwë was born, and they had stopped visiting each other. They had only met again after Findekáno and Maitimo spent the night together after leaving Finwë’s palace. They had merely stayed at a room in an inn, speaking about their feelings and kissing each other without daring to go further. They had not realized that their sires would separate them. Were they planning to do it again? 

The Teleri minstrels had started to sing a third song when Findekáno arrived. He smiled to his grandparents and took a seat beside Maitimo, apparently unaware of the presence of Erelfinë sitting beside Indis. 

“I am sorry I am late,” Findekáno whispered. “Turukáno wanted to show me something… I will tell you about it later.”

Maitimo nodded and brushed Findekáno’s hand with his own, seeking for the familiar warmth. They were always careful around others, so Findekáno looked at him curiously. Maitimo smiled and was about to say something when he heard Erelfinë’s voice. They both turned around to see the Vanyar Elf singing along with the Teleri minstrels. Finwë looked worried, and Indis really pleased. The song’s quality changed and became something different and untamed, even if the words had not changed. They all listened in silence, and this time Maitimo was able to shake himself off the visions that Erelfinë’s singing conjured. The minstrel’s gift was strong in him. 

“Who is that?” Findekáno asked quietly when the song ended. His eyes were fixed on Erelfinë, as if under a spell. Maitimo threw caution away and grabbed his cousin’s hand, squeezing slightly to get his full attention.

“His name is Erelfinë. He died near Cuiviénen. Why?”

Findekáno nodded somewhat dazedly. “His voice is powerful, and the visions I saw… never mind…” He paused and his eyes focused on Maitimo. “You are disturbed.”

Maitimo started to shake his head, but there was a trace of disbelief in Findekáno’s eyes which surprised and angered him. Why would Findekáno doubt him even before listening to him? Was it Erelfinë’s doing?

“You were under his spell just a moment ago,” Maitimo said in a quiet, controlled voice.

“But it did not disturb me so,” came the stubborn reply. 

Erelfinë was singing again, of life in Cuiviénen, being alone and misunderstood by those who should love and protect him. It spoke to Maitimo in a way nothing had before, and his anger changed into guilt, and shame. Findekáno had spoken the truth, seen through him. Erelfinë had the power to disturb him, and that was something so unexpected that it scared him. 

Findekáno was no longer looking at him, but at Erelfinë, as if determined to understand the reason for Maitimo’s uneasiness. Erelfinë seemed to notice and he skillfully changed his song into a celebration of life in the Outer Lands.

Maitimo breathed easier, feeling the song’s hold on him lessening. He touched Findekáno’s hand carefully, intending to apologize or at least sooth any hurt that his uneasiness had caused. Findekáno looked at him for a brief moment before turning his eyes back to the Vanyarin minstrel. His eyes were glazed, and he seemed unable to take his eyes off Erelfinë, who was now singing of the restlessness he felt in the Blessed Lands and his hope to find peace in the eyes of another spirit akin to his own.

When at last it was over, Findekáno just sat there, lost in thought. Finwë and Indis stood, and Erelfinë bowed to them. Indis placed a hand on his shoulder and beckoned for Maitimo and Findekáno to join them. 

“Finno, I believe that Indis wants you to meet her guest.”

Findekáno blinked and nodded quickly. He looked restless, and ready to speak about the minstrel with Maitimo, but they would have to wait. They both knew what it meant to listen to Erelfinë, and how his song could affect their perception of reality. Maitimo sighed and followed his cousin.

“Findekáno, this is Erelfinë, from Cuiviénen,” Indis said. “He is cousin to my mother and to King Ingwë.”

“It is an honor to meet you, Lord Erelfinë,” Findekáno said. 

Erelfinë smiled. “Well met, Findekáno. Call me Erelfinë. We are family, after all.”

“Erelfinë is also an old friend,” Finwë said. “He has many stories to tell about Cuiviénen, as Maitimo already knows.”

Maitimo nodded awkwardly. “I believe you would have enjoyed Erelfinë’s stories, cousin.”

“I will be glad to tell you about the Land of Awakening,” Erelfinë said pleasantly. “I will stay in the palace for a few days, so maybe we can speak and play some music? You play the harp, do you not?”

Findekáno nodded. “I do, but my cousin Makalaurë has a gift for it.”

“I have heard him singing once,” Erelfinë said. “He is the most gifted singer I have ever met.” 

Maitimo had no choice but to smile at the compliment to his brother, even if all he wanted was to take Findekáno away from Erelfinë. 

“I think it is time we retire for the night,” Finwë said casually. His expression was serious, though.

Erelfinë nodded and after a few more words, he left, and Finwë and Indis followed suit. Maitimo looked at Findekáno. The anger was gone, and so was the moment of doubt. It was as if they had both been caught in a disturbingly strong spell.

“Will you tell me what you saw when he sang of the Outer Lands, Finno?” Maitimo asked as they walked toward their rooms.

“I saw a place where no one would ever find about us. I saw a land where we would be free to follow our hearts. What did you see, Maitimo?”

“I saw the same,” Maitimo admitted, “but there was darkness too. It was a beautiful and dangerous place.” 

“I would not mind being in danger, if you were there with me,” Findekáno said. They were alone now, no courtiers or servants around.

Maitimo took his hand. “Promise me that you will never leave for that place alone.”

Findekáno looked confused. “There is no way for us to leave for that place, Maitimo. I see now that Erelfinë’s song has touched you deeply.” The suspicion was back in Findekáno’s eyes, and it hurt. 

“Just promise me,” Maitimo said, pulling Findekáno closer. It always soothed him and helped him to control the anger. 

_Why am I angry?_

“I promise, as long as you promise me the same.”

“I promise.”

Findekáno smiled and moved closer to claim Maitimo’s lips in a kiss. They could not lose themselves in it, even if their bodies seemed to want more. Maitimo held his cousin protectively when they broke the kiss. He would speak with Finwë about Erelfinë. The Vanyarin bard was as dangerous as he was charming. Findekáno was right. Erelfinë’s song had unsettled him.

Oloriel made a beautiful illustration for this chapter:

[Erelfine singing](http://silwritersguild.livejournal.com/224400.html?nojs=1)


	5. Chapter 5

Findekáno could feel his body reacting at Maitimo’s closeness and touch. He needed more, but he was very aware that it was not possible for them to freely share their love in the palace. They had to resist the temptation out of respect for Finwë and Indis, who surely expected them to behave properly while in the palace. 

They had been together since Finwë brought him back to Tirion, but only when they left the city without an escort where they able to share their love without restraint. It was maddening, but it was all they had and Findekáno was determined not to lose it. He had no doubt that there were courtiers who would be horrified if they knew, and those who might bring the matter to Finwë, or worse, to their sires. 

“I need you, Finno,” Maitimo whispered against his hair. Findekáno could feel his cousin’s body trembling against his own.

“I need you too… We should find a way, Maitimo. It has been too long since the last time.”

Maitimo nodded and kissed him again, and this time Findekáno simply gave into the kiss, rebelling against their situation. Love was as important as duty, it had to be or life would have no meaning at all. 

“Finno, we need to stop,” Maitimo said. “We will find a way to leave the palace, but we do need to be more careful than before. Something unexpected has happened.”

Findekáno reluctantly moved back. “What is it? Why kiss me like that, then, if you want us to be careful? Maitimo, I…”

“You father visited mine a few days ago.”

“What? Why? Did you see him?”

“No, it was Morifinwë who saw him. This is strange. They stopped visiting each other years ago. The last time they agreed on something was when they decided to separate us.”

Findekáno’s temper flared. “And we would still be apart if Grandfather had not intervened! Why now? Why can they not leave us alone?”

Maitimo looked at him. “Calm down, Finno. We do not know for certain that they are planning to separate us again.”

“No, but your father might try to arrange a marriage between you and an Elf maiden. You are his heir, after all.”

“And you are Uncle Nolo’s!” Maitimo snapped. “When I think of…” He paused and took a deep breath. “What is the matter with you, Findekáno? Why are you angry at me?”

Findekáno opened his mouth to speak and realized that he did not know why. He simply was angry, and wanted to lash out at someone. Guilt washed over him, which made him angry again. 

This was strange…

“Forgive me, Maitimo,” he said. “I have been feeling like this since I heard Erelfinë’s last song. I didn’t want to admit it, but his words have had a disturbing effect on me. I wish I was free to love you… I wish I was not my father’s son but a common Elf… But you are no common Elf either, we are both princes of the Noldor and duty must stand before love. I wish we were in that world Erelfinë sings about.”

Maitimo cupped Findekáno’s cheek with his hand. “There is nothing to forgive, Finno. Erelfinë has a very strong gift, and he has lived in the wilderness most of his life. Even in Cuiviénen he used to stray away of the Quendi’s settlements.”

“You know a lot more about him than I.”

Maitimo sighed. “Just because I was here for dinner. He will be here tomorrow and probably dine with us again.”

Findekáno nodded, unable to decide if he was jealous or angry. Maitimo might not like Erelfinë, but it was obvious that he had enjoyed the Vanyarin Elf’s stories.

“So I suppose we will have to wait for a few days before leaving the palace,” he said. “I do need to visit the farms outside the city; Grandfather told me that a few of the first Elves live there, and I want to speak with them.”

“I could speak with them about the distribution of the river water to irrigate their crops,” Maitimo said. “It might have been simpler in Cuiviénen, but Grandfather said they had a primitive agriculture back then.”

Findekáno smiled. “So we have a valid academic reason to leave the city together, and without an escort. It will be a short trip, and we could stay at a road inn… or share a tent under the stars.”

“We will do that then.”

“And hope our sires are not planning to part us again.”

Maitimo nodded and kissed him softly. “Good-night, my love.”

“Good-night, Maitimo.”

Findekáno stood there, watching Maitimo walk away toward his bedroom. Once his cousin turned right into another corridor, Findekáno entered his own bedroom. He was calmer now, though his father’s visit to Fëanáro still worried him. Surely Finwë would not allow Nolofinwë to take him away. Maybe the meeting had been about the upcoming feast. Maybe Arafinwë had come later. Findekáno sighed. It was of no use to speculate about this. Surely they would know soon.

He was about to change his clothes when he heard someone singing in the garden. It was that Elf, Erelfinë. He was singing of the joy of running free in the wild lands, and the dangers of stillness in an all too perfect world. Findekáno shook his head, trying to escape to the song’s lure, but eventually fell into the spell.

The sky was dark, with no stars, and the forest was wild and dangerous. Findekáno ran, calling for his cousin, but Maitimo was not there. Only Erelfinë. The Elf seemed startled when he saw Findekáno, but then he smiled and took his hand.

“Come with me,” he said urgently. “If we leave this forest we will find the stars again.”

Findekáno tried to back away. “Where is Maitimo?”

“He is not here,” Erelfinë said. “He will not come. Duty is more important than love, my friend, and he is his father’s heir.”

“Let go of me.”

“Of course,” Erelfinë said. “Findekáno, you should not be here. It is late.”

Findekáno blinked and the dark forest faded away. He was standing in Finwë’s garden, and Erelfinë was there with him. 

“I am sorry,” Erelfinë said. 

Findekáno backed away, and then turned around and ran out of the garden. He could hear Erelfinë calling him, but he didn’t care. He had to get away from him, from everyone. He had to leave. Only when he left the city of the Noldor forever, he would be free.


	6. Chapter 6

Maitimo’s bedroom was the largest in the northern wing of the palace. It had been Fëanáro’s bedroom while he still lived in the palace, and there were still a few of his books in the shelves, one of them about Rúmil’s Sarati. There were also paintings, drawings, and other traces of Fëanáro’s childhood, and even a few tokens of his siblings’ love. 

The bedroom had a wide window that looked over a beautiful garden, and a receiving room with a settee, a tea table and a couple of armchairs. The garden had a small fountain and stone-carved benches. There was also a tree where a family of robins had made a nest, and their song added to the perfume of the blue, bell-shaped alfirin, Míriel’s favorite flowers, growing in flowerbeds around the garden. Maitimo and Findekáno had spent many quiet hours speaking quietly, and kissing whenever they were safe from prying eyes. Few people came to this garden. 

Findekáno was staying in Nolofinwë’s old bedroom now. It was not as large as Fëanáro’s, but it also looked over a garden bordered by flowerbeds full of white and yellow flowers. There were birds too, and beautiful golden lamps hanging from the trees. It was a less private garden, but once everyone retired for the night Findekáno would sit under a tree and play the harp, while Maitimo lay on his back, looking at the sky. 

It was an almost perfect world, and Maitimo was grateful to Finwë for allowing them some measure of privacy and hope. He was still concerned about that conversation between Fëanáro and Nolofinwë, but for now there was nothing he could do about it. Maitimo sat in his favorite armchair and grabbed a book about the building of agricultural canals outside Tirion. It was an interesting read, and it might help him to settle down after his conversation with Findekáno. He was tired of being careful, they both were, but everything could end if their sires had proof that they were still together. 

Maitimo had just finished the first chapter when someone knocked at the door. He placed the book on the night-table, puzzled. Could it be that Findekáno had thrown away all caution and come to his rooms? 

Maitimo stood. “Come in.”

It was Luinë, one of the maids, and she looked quite alarmed. “Your Highness, I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour but Prince Findekáno has left the palace, and Lord Erelfinë has followed him after giving the alert.” 

“Findekáno left the palace and Erelfinë followed him?” Maitimo quickly followed the young maid, trying to understand what was going on. When he reached the garden, Erelfinë was back. The Vanyarin Elf looked disturbed and slightly disoriented, which made Maitimo even angrier at him. 

“What happened here?” Maitimo demanded. “Where is Findekáno?”

Erelfinë shook his head, hands up as if trying to defend himself from an attack. The next moment his expression changed and he clenched his fists as if he were about to hit Maitimo. 

“He’s gone! I lost his track!”

Maitimo grabbed the other Elf’s arms. “What do you mean, he is gone? Answer me!”

Erelfinë’s eyes widened and the next moment he went wild and lunged at Maitimo, pushing him flat on his back. “He is gone, I say! I lost him! Leave me alone!”

Maitimo kicked Erelfinë off him and grabbed his tunic. “Where is my cousin, you treacherous minstrel! Answer me!”

Soon they were rolling on the ground, hitting each other, while the maid and one of the servants watched them helplessly. Maitimo could no longer stop his anger from coming to the surface and every time Erelfinë tried to push him away, he hit the Vanyarin Elf harder. Suddenly firm hands grabbed Maitimo and pulled him off Erelfinë.

“ENOUGH!” Finwë roared. 

He then grabbed Erelfinë’s arm and pulled him to his feet. “Enough, I say. Calm yourself, Erelfinë! You too, Maitimo! What is the meaning of this?

“Findekáno left the palace, Grandfather.”

“I didn’t mean to scare him away… Finwë, I…”

Finwë’s expression was unreadable when he turned to his seneschal. “Vanarë, please send someone in search of my grandson. Tell them to be quiet about this. I do not want the whole city to know what has happened here. Please bring my son Nolofinwë. I will speak with him.”

“As you command, Your Majesty.”

Once Vanarë left, Finwë looked at Maitimo. “You are bleeding, Maitimo. Luinë, please take care…” he trailed off when Erelfinë suddenly doubled over and retched on the garden. The Vanyarin Elf would have fallen to the ground had Finwë not supported him. 

“I am fine,” Maitimo told Luinë, but accepted a clean cloth which he pressed to his forehead. 

“Estelomë, please, help Lord Erelfinë to his quarters and call the Queen. Go with him, my friend. I will be there as soon as possible.”

Erelfinë nodded dazedly and allowed Estelomë to help him. Maitimo watched him go, wondering why his grandfather was not demanding answers from the minstrel. Sick or not, he was responsible for Findekáno’s disappearance. Clearly something else was going on.

“Maitimo, come with me. We need to clean that wound.”

Maitimo knew better than to protest, so he followed Finwë to his study, and allowed his grandfather to take care of the cut on his forehead. It had bled enough to soak the cloth, but that was always the case with head wounds.

“Grandfather, I would like to search for Finno too,” he said once Finwë finished. “He must have been very upset to run away like this, and I don’t think he will feel better if your guards go after him.”

Finwë looked at him sharply. “Whatever makes you think I would send my guards after him, Maitimo?”

“I apologize, Grandfather. I shouldn’t have said that. What is going on with Erelfinë? He is to blame for this, and yet…”

“And yet I treat him as if he were very sick? We will discuss Erelfinë later, Maitimo. For now you should know that he is not well.”

That was quite obvious, and Maitimo could not understand why Lord Namo had allowed him to come out of the Halls, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He wanted to start searching for his cousin.

“I believe that Findekáno might leave the city, probably head to Alqualondë if we are lucky. I have heard Erelfinë sing that song before. It is a story of darkness and fear. Estelomë heard the song when he was alerted that Erelfinë was singing in the garden, and he told me. Your cousin could be anywhere, but you know him better than anyone else. I need you to go to those places where he might effectively hide from my people. 

Maitimo nodded. He still had questions, but his priority was to find Findekáno and bring him back to the palace. He was still angry at Erelfinë, and not that happy with Finwë. Erelfinë was dangerous, and he should never have been allowed to walk freely through the palace. Maitimo still wanted to shake the whole story out of Erelfinë, but maybe Finwë was planning to do that before Nolofinwë arrived. 

“I will find him, Grandfather.”

“I am sure you will. Now go, Maitimo. And be careful.”

Maitimo returned to his bedroom to grab a cloak, thinking more of Findekáno than of himself, and left the palace through one of the secondary doors. There was no use in attracting attention to himself, and he certainly didn’t want to cross paths with his uncle.


	7. Chapter 7

Findekáno rushed through the narrow streets that led to the city’s southern gate. He had no cloak to cover his face, but his long hair was loose and tangled, so he looked nothing like Prince Nolofinwë’s son. This, and the fact that he seldom came to this area allowed him to pass through crowded streets undisturbed. This was a path mainly taken by farmers who came into Tirion every day to sell their products. It was also used by merchants who traveled between Tirion and Alqualondë. There were many small inns where anyone could sleep or simply rest after a long trip. It was the perfect place to hide and think about what had happened in the garden. 

It had been disturbing, and even as Findekáno moved away from the palace the images that Erelfinë had shown him seemed to cling to his mind. It was a terrible, dark place, where there was no hope of ever seeing the stars again. Findekáno wished he could forget those images, but the forest kept coming alive around him, forcing him to stop running and take a deep, shaky breath. One moment he was turning around a corner to avoid a couple of Elves who might recognize him, and the next moment he was standing under a tree in the middle of the forest. 

It was disquieting.

The minstrel was dangerous, and in the few moments when he was not lost in the visions, Findekáno wondered why Finwë had allowed Erelfinë to sing in the palace. The Vanyarin Elf was powerful and evil, and he seemed to be determined to disrupt their lives. 

_I should not be running away! I need to go back and warn Finwë and Indis!_

_How could I leave Maitimo there?_

Findekáno turned around, determined to go back but was stopped short when the flock of sheep passing by suddenly changed into a pack of wolves. His heart sank in his chest. Whatever had happened in the garden, whatever darkness Erelfinë’s song had conjured, it was now inside him too. He could not go back and infect everyone with this madness. 

He closed his eyes and tried to remember an old song he had heard once in Finwë’s palace. It was a song about Water of Awakening. It was about the soothing sound of the water, and the brightness of the stars in the sky. It was a simple song, a song of innocence and strength, a song of praise and celebration of life.

The melody came to his mind, and then the lyrics. Findekáno sang it very softly, concentrating on the words and the images they brought to his mind. He had no minstrel gift, but he remembered how happy he had felt back then. It worked. 

It calmed him. 

When he opened his eyes again, the forest had disappeared and he was standing near the gate. He could see the last merchants leaving, and a few coming in. Findekáno stayed there for a long time, hidden behind a pillar, trying to decide what to do. He had managed to break the spell, so maybe he could go back after resting for the night?

He was about to turn around and look for an inn when he saw Erelfinë. The Vanyarin Elf was standing there alone, his golden hair hidden under a cloak, eyes fixed on the gate. 

Findekáno looked at him for a moment, anger warring with curiosity in his mind. Why was Erelfinë here? Had he not done enough? Findekáno started to walk toward the Elf, but Erelfinë turned around at his eyes widened as if with fear. Then he spoke in a language that Findekáno could not understand.

“What is this language?” Findekáno whispered.

“It is the language of our Master,” a voice said at his side. 

Findekáno whirled around and again found himself in the forest, this time surrounded by strange creatures who rushed past him. They were heading to the gate, and so was Erelfinë. Findekáno grabbed the Elf’s arm.

“Stop it!”

Erelfinë looked at him, and only then did Findekáno notice the paleness of his skin and the shadows under his eyes. “I cannot stop it, my friend. I am sorry, but I have to go with them.”

“Wait!” 

Findekáno rushed after Erelfinë without thinking, and together they passed through the gates, wolves and strange creatures running along with them. The merchants were no longer there and the farmers seemed to have disappeared into the forest along with their sheep. It was as if they had entered another world. 

There was no escaping the visions now, so Findekáno stopped fighting them. Darkness was everywhere, and long, twisted branches hid the sky. He called Erelfinë repeatedly, but the minstrel was too far ahead to listen to him. Findekáno could only see a flash of golden hair every now and then, and finally there was no trace of the Vanyarin Elf.

Findekáno stopped running, and once again started to sing the old song to himself. It took longer this time, and it drained his energy, but eventually the forest disappeared and the landscape around him was again that of Aman. 

Or so he hoped, because he had never been in this area. Findekáno didn’t know for how long he had been running, but all he could see was a dry land, and mountains to his left. Where was he?

“I thought you would never stop running.”

Findekáno started and turned around to see Morifinwë standing there, looking as tired as he felt. 

“Carnistir? What are you doing here?”

Morifinwë shrugged tiredly. “I have no idea.”

“You have no idea.”

Morifinwë shook his head, and turned his eyes to the mountains. “Maitimo is upset because you left.”

“Have you seen him?”

“No, but he is upset. I know.”

Before Findekáno could say anything else, Morifinwë started to walk toward the mountains, as if he were under a spell. 

Findekáno quickly caught up with him. “Where are you going, Carnistir?”

“I need to find that Vanya.”

“So you saw him too?”

Morifinwë stopped and looked at Findekáno as if he had grown two heads. “Why do you think I am here? I saw him.” 

Findekáno took a deep breath. It would be of no use to snap at his cousin. “Did you hear him sing?”

“I did not. I was home. I have to find him.”

“Carnistir, you are making no sense. Wait! What do you see in front of you?”

“A dark forest, of course. This is what the Vanya wants us to see. You should go back, Findekáno. You do not want Maitimo to come here.”

Findekáno wanted to shake his cousin, but he knew that it would be worse. Even without a spell, once Morifinwë was set to do something it was very difficult to stop him. 

“Carnistir, there is no forest. We should stop and go back to the city. Maitimo will come looking for you too. Let us not place him in danger. We can ask Grandfather to look for Erelfinë.”

“Or we can find him and bring him back to Tirion,” Morifinwë said. 

Findekáno carefully placed a hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “Carnistir, please come with me. Erelfinë is gone, and this place is dangerous. Can you not sense it?”

Morifinwë nodded dazedly, but allowed Findekáno to lead him away from the mountains. As they moved away, Findekáno thought that he could hear Erelfinë singing again, a different song this time. He urged his cousin forward, unwilling to risk falling into the minstrel’s spell again. They needed to find a safe place to spend the night, and return to Tirion as soon as Telperion’s light was bright enough to hide the stars.


	8. Chapter 8

Maitimo hurried through the streets of Tirion. It was nearly the hour of the first mingling of the Lights and he had searched for Findekáno everywhere without finding him. He had been to their usual meeting places, and he had also been to every inn near the city’s main gates. His last hope was to find his cousin near the southern gate, used by farmers and merchants. They had been thinking of using that gate to leave the city when they headed to the farmers’ settlements, so maybe Findekáno had decided to hide in any of the inns there. Maitimo didn’t want to think that his cousin had left the city. Erelfinë’s spell could not be that strong. 

It simply could not. 

As he searched for his cousin, Maitimo had stopped to listen to conversations on the street, and inside inns and bars, hoping that someone mentioned Findekáno, or at least a dark-haired Elf running amiss. At first Maitimo had not bothered to hide his hair, but after two acquaintances had stopped him to ask him about Nerdanel’s next art exhibit, he had pulled up the hood of his cloak.

The southern gate was closed when Maitimo at least reached it. There were a few guards and a tall, dark-haired Elf he knew well. 

“Father?” 

Fëanáro turned around and signaled for him to wait. Maitimo nodded, noticing just then that Aldamë, their stable groom, was there with Fëanáro’s horse. Was he also looking for Findekáno? It seemed unlikely, unless Finwë had asked him for help. 

Fëanáro finally finished speaking with the guards and turned around. “Aldamë, please bring Prince Nelyafinwë's horse too. And be quick about it.” He looked at Maitimo. “I suppose that you are looking for your cousin.”

Maitimo nodded awkwardly, resisting the urge to say that Finwë had commanded him to do so. He would have looked for his cousin anyway, but hopefully Fëanáro would not consider this a sign of Maitimo’s disobedience regarding Findekáno. 

“I am. I did not expect to find you here, Father.”

Fëanáro frowned. “Do you mean to say that you expect me to allow the current situation with Nolofinwë to interfere with my family duties?”

“No, Father. I apologize. Are we going out of the city together then?”

Fëanáro nodded. “Yes, we are going out. I can see that you have not heard about Morifinwë’s disappearance.”

_What?_

“Moryo is missing? How? When did this happen? I have been walking all around Tirion and nobody told me about this!”

“Not many people in the city know. Morifinwë left the house hours ago, after telling Turkafinwë that you needed him. He thought that Morifinwë was going to the palace, but it was not so. When Father sent me a message telling me about Findekáno’s disappearance, I was able to confirm that Morifinwë never reached the palace.”

“Oh… I never called him, but he might have sensed…” Maitimo trailed off when Fëanáro looked at him sharply. 

“So you were so upset because Findekáno left the palace that your brother sensed it and decided to leave Tirion.” 

“I am sorry, Father. I should have realized that Moryo might feel my uneasiness, but I thought that he needed me to be closer in order to… Why I do not understand is why he would leave Tirion?”

“I am not blaming you, Nelyo,” Fëanáro’s said, softening his tone. “This gift Moryo has is strong, and we do not fully understand it, but you are right. He should not be able to sense your emotions at such distance. As to why he left Tirion, maybe Findekáno leaving the city too has to do with it.”

Maitimo nodded. “It was not Findekáno’s fault, either. It was that minstrel, Erelfinë. His gift is extremely powerful, Father. He even brought me into a dark forest and made me see the paths he used to take while he lived near Cuiviénen.”

“I know everything about Erelfinë. Father told Nolo too. He should not have been allowed to leave the Halls, no matter what Lord Námo says.”

Maitimo nodded quietly. He wanted to ask more about Erelfinë, but wisely kept his questions for later. For now they needed to find Findekáno and Morifinwë. 

“I cannot begin to understand why Father allowed that insane Vanya to sing in the palace,” Fëanáro said, “but if Moryo or Findekáno are hurt because of him I will personally go to Taníquetil to speak with Lord Manwë.”

Aldamë chose that moment to arrive with Maitimo’s horse. “Go back to the house and tell Lady Nerdanel that I will bring Morifinwë back.”

“As you command, Your Highness.” Aldamë bowed and left. 

Maitimo and Fëanáro got on their mounts and headed to the gate. While they waited for the sentries to open the heavy metal structure, a merchant approached them and bowed. 

“Your Highnesses, I saw Prince Findekáno rushing out through this gate hours ago. I thought it could not be him, as he was not even wearing a cloak and there was no gold in his hair, but I have heard that he is lost so it might be that my first impression was correct.”

“Did you see my son Morifinwë too?” Fëanáro asked. 

“No, Your Highness.”

Fëanáro thanked the merchant stiffly and urged his horse into a canter, passing through the door. Maitimo followed him and soon they were galloping through the deserted road, heading to the farmers’ settlements.

As they rode, the silence around them was oppressing, as if something evil had passed through the road. Telperion’s light was still weak, so only the stars guided their way. They had left the city without an escort, which was usual for them, but now Maitimo wondered if it had been wise to do so. 

They finally reached a shallow creek, and saw the lights of the farmers’ first settlements. They dismounted and waited for the horses to drink, all the time attentive at the slight sign of danger. Finally they continued their way and reached the first houses. Maitimo was relieved when the feeling of wrongness lifted like a blanket. There was something evil on the road, that was certain, but apparently it had not touched this place. A few dogs came out, barking at them, but quieted down when a farmer shushed them. 

“Quiet, you two!” the Elf said. “Who goes there?”

“Prince Fëanáro Finwion and his son Nelyafinwë Maitimo.”

The farmer bowed. “My Lords, forgive me for not recognizing you! Welcome to our settlement. My name is Farnerel, son of Erellávar. Are you in need of food and rest?”

“I thank you for your offer, Farnerel,” Fëanáro said. “We have enough food and water. We require information about travelers, if there is any.”

“There was a traveler who passed by earlier, but he was cloaked and we could not see him clearly. He was tall, and his cloak was dark red.”

“That could be…”

“Yes,” Fëanáro cut him. “Thank you, my friend. We will take our leave now. Did you see the direction he took?”

“West, as if he were going toward the mountains. Not a safe area.”

Fëanáro nodded curtly and they mounted again. Soon they were on the road once more and the feeling of wrongness was back once again. It was fading with Telperion’s light, though. As they neared the mountains, the slowed down again, looking for any sign of Findekáno or Morifinwë. Maitimo only hoped that they were both all right. He was aware that Erelfinë was to blame, but he would never forgive himself if something happened to Morifinwë.


	9. Chapter 9

Nolofinwë steered his horse toward the eastern flanks of the Pélori. He had left the city through the western gate with a small escort so he could send the faster riders ahead and cover every possible route. Findekáno might have gone to Alqualondë like Finwë believed, but he could also be anywhere on the southern coast beyond the Pélori. Findekáno could also have gone south and past the farmers’ settlements, on the eastern flank of the mountains. There was a region called Arvalin or Avathar, depending on the map, but it was a dry and strange place where not even Fëanáro ventured when he traveled with his sons.

Except that Fëanáro might be going there now in search of Morifinwë, and Findekáno, if Erelfinë was right and they were indeed together. Nolofinwë still remembered the wretched Elf’s pale face and haunted eyes, and the way Finwë had stopped Fëanáro from hitting him. Actually, Nolofinwë had wanted to do just that, but he was too used to keep a tight rein on his emotions. Erelfinë had finally lost consciousness, not before telling them that Findekáno and Morifinwë were in great danger.

Nolofinwë wished he knew why his father still protected Erelfinë, but for now all he could do was to look for his son and his nephew. He was about to urge his horse into a faster pace when the Elves he had sent to Alqualondë rejoined his party.

“Your Highness, I was at Alqualondë and none of the princes have been there,” Olorë said. “It is highly improbable that they have taken the southern coast route, so Prince Olwien told me that it would be better if I returned to you. He promised to send a party of Teleri archers to explore the area.”

“Good, let us go then.”

As they rode south, Nolofinwë once again wondered why Findekáno had not told him about his project. It had been Fëanáro who had told him about it the last time Nolofinwë visited his brother’s house. After Finwë brought Findekáno back to Tirion, they had decided to monitor the situation and be aware of any changes. Nolofinwë was not so certain that Findekáno would not disobey him, but Fëanáro had assured him that Maitimo was an obedient son and knew that such relationship with his cousin was not only unusual but unlawful. 

Nolofinwë hoped that Fëanáro was right. 

He had to admit that he looked forward to these meetings with his older brother. They had been close when Findekáno was an Elfling – as close as Fëanáro would allow, being him a son of Indis – but close nevertheless. Nolofinwë missed those days. He loved his brother and liked to think that Fëanáro felt the same about him. It still stung his pride that Findekáno had asked Fëanáro for help, but that was his son’s decision. After all, linguistics was one of Fëanáro’s fields of expertise, and he was considered almost as good as Master Rúmil. Maybe when Findekáno needed to speak with someone who knew about the laws and customs of the Quendi, he would come to him. Deep in his heart Nolofinwë knew that he was to blame for this too. Sending Findekáno away for so long had widened the gap between them. 

_And now that he is back, I might have lost him to the Halls…_

“Look there, Your Highness,” Olorë said. “I believe there is a light at the feet of those dark mountains.”

Nolofinwë looked up and saw the light. The mountains were past the farmers’ settlements. “Please, Olorë go ahead and see if the farmers have seen them. We will head southwest, so if you find them send a pigeon. If not, join us.”

“As you command, Your Highness.”

Nolofinwë and his party continued their way, and soon a sense of wrongness and danger assaulted them. Laurëlin’s light had died long ago and Telperion’s was still weak, but the darkness seemed to cling to them like a heavy shroud. 

They advanced at a slower pace, as even the horses seemed to be affected. There was no pigeon from Olorë, but then the bird might have fallen dead after trying to fly near the area. Eventually Olorë joined them with the news that Fëanáro and Maitimo had passed by the farmers’ settlements and continued their way south. 

Finally they were close enough to the mountains to have a clearer view. The light was still there, but Nolofinwë had a new reason to be concerned about his son’s and nephew’s safety. There were sounds of horse hooves ahead, which could either mean that Fëanáro and his eldest were going on the same direction, or that someone else was on the road. Either way, it was best to let their presence known to the other party so Nolofinwë gave the order to move forward and soon they were galloping toward the mountains. 

When they finally reached the flank of the mountains, they found horses standing outside a cave. There was no sign of their owners, or of the lost Elves, but the light was still burning high on the mountain’s flank. There were a few trees around, but the real forest was further south. It looked dark and dangerous. 

Nolofinwë dismounted and entered the cave, followed by Olorë and the others. Maitimo met them half-way and guided them further inside until they came to a wider area. Findekáno was kneeling on the ground, helping Fëanáro to bind Morifinwë’s arm. His own head was bandaged, but he looked alert, and relieved to see Nolofinwë. There was also a sudden wariness in his son’s eyes that pained him.

“Father…”

“I am so relieved that you are not badly hurt, Finno.” He placed a hand on his son’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. He then turned to look at Morifinwë. “I am glad to see you too, Carnistir. What happened?”

“We followed the insane Vanya,” Morifinwë said, somewhat dazedly. It was obvious that he had drunk something to dull the pain.

“We saw Erelfinë, and there were also strange creatures… Sheep turned into wolves… I did not know that Carnistir was following me.”

Morinfinwë smirked slightly, and then winced when Fëanáro finished bandaging his arm. It was broken, probably. 

“I have told them that Erelfinë is at the palace,” Fëanáro said, looking at him. There was anger and concern in his eyes. It was obvious that something strange was going on, something that had to do with the minstrel’s presence in Tirion. 

“I saw him at the southern gate,” Findekáno said, concern darkening his features. He looked pale and slightly nauseous, so Nolofinwë gently made him sit back. Findekáno blinked, trying to stay awake. Nolofinwë looked at Fëanáro. 

“We should leave now,” he said.

Fëanáro nodded briskly. “This place is not safe. They should not have entered here, in the first place. I will talk to Father about that Vanya.” 

“I will go with you,” Nolofinwë said. He helped Findekáno to his feet while Maitimo and Fëanáro helped Morifinwë to walk out of the cave. They would have to go to the farmers’ settlements first, so Findekáno and Morifinwë could rest. Nolofinwë knew that he would not be at ease until they left the area. He would have to tell Finwë about this too. They were supposed to be in the Blessed Lands, but the area was obviously unsafe.

“I saw a huge spider,” Morifinwë said as Fëanáro helped him to get on Maitimo’s horse. 

“I did not see it,” Findekáno said slowly. He was already on Nolofinwë’s horse, arms around his waist.

“You were not there, Finno, remember?” Morifinwë said. “You could no longer see the forest.”

“Let us go,” Fëanáro said harshly. “No more talk about spiders and dark forests until we are out of here.”

Maitimo nodded. “Try to rest, Moryo. We will be in the settlements soon. You will sleep in a warm bed and then we will return home.”

“Findekáno, please try not to fall asleep.”

“Yes, Father,” came the soft answer, but Nolofinwë realized that he could think of nothing to speak about with his son. 

“Tell your father about your project, Findekáno,” Fëanáro said. 

Findekáno tensed, but after a moment he started to tell Nolofinwë about his research on the history of the first settlements in Cuiviénen. Nolofinwë listened to his son, and asked a few questions so Findekáno continued speaking. Maitimo also added to the conversation, and even Fëanáro said one or two things, though he mostly kept his attention on the road. Nolofinwë was glad when the first settlements came in sight. As they entered the path to the farmlands the feeling of wrongness that had followed them since they left the cave slowly faded away.


	10. Chapter 10

Findekáno sat alone at a desk in the library, reading a book his father had given to him. It was about the ways in which the Quendi administered justice back in the long gone days of Cuiviénen. There was a council that took care of resolving local disputes in which the leader and the wise, older members of the settlement listened to those involved, and then decided on the matter at hand. When problems arose between different settlements, the three leaders held council along with the wise men of each people. They always 

It was not as boring as Findekáno had thought. 

He still resented Fëanáro for all but forcing him to tell his father about his project, but he had to admit that a weight had been lifted off his chest. It had helped him to stay awake during the ride, so that had been a good thing too.

After resting in the farmers’ settlements, they had returned to Tirion, Findekáno to his father’s house, and Morifinwë to Fëanáro’s. Maitimo alone had returned to the palace the next day. Findekáno had stayed with his family until the healer said that he was fit to continue his studies at Court. Morifinwë’s arm was better, though he still was not allowed to go mining.

Istië had finally arrived at Tirion and was now staying at Nerindë’s house. Findekáno wondered if their parents knew about their love, and if that was so, if they approved of it. Either way, they were spending time together, and Findekáno was happy for them. 

“Are you done here, Finno?”

Findekáno closed the book and smiled at his cousin. “I am now. It is time for dinner already? I lost track of time.”

Maitimo sat beside him. “We have a few moments alone before Luinë comes for us.”

“Where were you anyway?”

“Grandfather called me,” Maitimo said. “He wanted to speak with me about Erelfinë.”

Findekáno frowned. “I thought he was gone.”

“He will be gone tomorrow after he and King Ingwë break their fast.”

“King Ingwë came himself? This is unbelievable! Unless he plans to take Erelfinë to a cell in Valmar himself, that is. I do not understand why Grandfather and Ingwë protect Erelfinë. Carnistir could have died when those rocks fell on him!”

“You too, beloved,” Maitimo said quietly. “I am still angry at Erelfinë, because he should never have sung in the palace, knowing his gift is so strong.”

“He could have sung something less dangerous.”

Maitimo nodded. “That too, but you see, Erelfinë is not mentally stable. He is not insane, but he is not well either.”

There was something else, and Maitimo seemed to know it. Findekáno took a deep breath, trying to curb his temper. “Why was he allowed to come out of the Halls then?”

“Because his pain could not be healed without being surrounded by family and friends,” Maitimo said quietly. “Erelfinë saved Grandfather and King Ingwë from being taken away by the Shadows that stole the Quendi around Cuiviénen. That very same gift that put you and Morifinwë in danger, saved Grandfather and Ingwë.”

“Was then when he died?” Findekáno asked. 

Maitimo shook his head. “No, Finno. Erelfinë was taken away and tortured by Melkor’s creatures.”

“Oh…”

“He died much later.”

“How did he die?”

“Grandfather would not say more.”

Findekáno looked at Maitimo and saw in his eyes the pity he now felt for Erelfinë. Dangerous or not, he was a survivor from the Darkness, and it made sense that Finwë and Ingwë wanted to protect him. It even made sense that Lord Namo would give Erelfinë the chance of healing, if that was still possible. 

“I never saw him, or heard about him when I was living in Ingwë’s Court.”

“He was spending some time with King Olwë. They were friends back then, and though Grandfather did not say anything, I believe that something happened between them.”

Findekáno sighed. He could not imagine how it had been for Erelfinë to be taken away from those he loved, and to be tortured, and maybe forced to use his gift to hurt them. It was still dangerous to have him around, but maybe there would be a way for him to have some peace.

“He was a great teller of stories, you know?” Maitimo said. “He looked happy to be with Grandfather and Indis, and he was nice to me before everything went wrong. And then, when he lost his mind…”

“I would have hit him too, Maitimo,” Findekáno said, placing a hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “He attacked you, after all, and his hold on Morifinwë’s mind was strong.”

“Morifinwë’s own gift is very powerful, and he sensed my emotions. He knew that I was desperate to find you.”

“And that is why he followed me. I am sorry I could not protect him, Maitimo. I tried, but he was lost in the visions and would not listen to me. I convinced him to leave the area and walk north with me, but once he saw the cave…”

“He had to go in. I know my brother, Finno. He cannot resist a mine, and any cave he sees can be one.”

Findekáno nodded. “Did you ask Grandfather about huge spiders?”

“He said that he has never seen one that big. Not here, and not in Cuiviénen. It might be that Morifinwë just imagined it.”

“It might…”

Maitimo cupped Findekáno’s cheek with his hand. “I am relieved that you were not badly hurt or worse, Finno. When I saw you lying on the ground, blood on your forehead… Moryo was awake, and in terrible pain, but you were not answering my calls.”

Findekáno leaned into the touch. “I was so happy to see you, Maitimo. I almost told you that I loved you, which would have been a problem with your father there.”

“Ah, beloved, you actually said it.”

Findekáno froze.

“I managed to look surprised and pained, and Moryo was speaking about spiders, so he did not say anything. Father looked at me for what seemed to be an eternity, and then continued taking care of Moryo’s arm.”

Findekáno closed his eyes. “Will he take you away again?”

“No,” Maitimo said, slowly smoothing Findekáno’s hair. “He told me later that he knew that we still loved each other. Your father knows it too. They will do nothing as long as we stay apart.”

Findekáno nodded, wishing that Maitimo let go of his hair and at the same time hoping he would not. Someone could see them, and tell Fëanáro or Nolofinwë. He made no resistance when Maitimo pulled him close for a kiss. Time seemed to stop, and for once Findekáno just let himself enjoy the closeness, knowing that every moment could be the last one he spent with his lover.

“We will find a way,” Maitimo said when they finally pulled apart. “I will always be with you, Finno. I promise.”


	11. Chapter 11

Finwë sat on his bed, feeling calm for the first time since Erelfinë came to the palace. The minstrel was sleeping more peacefully now, and he had recovered enough to make the trip to Valmar on horseback. He would not go in a carriage, not even with Ingwë, which was another sign that he was feeling better. After falling into the spell of his own song and relive his captivity, Erelfinë had collapsed in Finwë’s arms, unable to escape of the nightmare he had recreated.

It was unfortunate that Findekáno and Morifinwë had fallen into it too. Fëanáro and Nolofinwë had been furious when they confronted Erelfinë, and with reason. Finwë understood then well enough, but he could do anything other than protect Erelfinë. After all, it had been his fault that his friend had been captured by Melkor’s creatures.

“Can you not sleep, my love?”

Finwë turned around and smiled at Indis. She knew, most of it at least. Whatever happened that day, it was before her time, even before Míriel’s, but it was not Finwë’s secret alone.

“I was merely thinking, my dear.”

Indis sat up on the bed and reached out to gently massage Finwë’s shoulders. “You are tense. Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong.”

“If you are worried for Erelfinë, go to him, Finwë,” Indis said. “I know how much you worry about him. I worry too. You know that.”

Even though he put Findekáno in danger, you mean, Finwë mused. Indis loved their grandsons dearly, and Findekáno’s disappearance had changed her attitude toward Erelfinë. 

“I know. Listen, it is still too early for Erelfinë to be awake, but I would like to break my fast with Ingwë and him.”

Indis nodded and lay down on the bed, turning her back on him. All was done with quiet grace, but Finwë knew that his decision upset her. 

“Thank you for understanding me, Indis,” he said, before leaving the bedroom.

He bathed quickly and dressed into simple clothes, and shortly after he was standing in front of Erelfinë’s quarters. It was still too early to wake him, but Finwë knew that Ingwë would stay with his cousin to make sure that he had a calm sleep. 

“Ingwë?” he called softly. 

“Come in, Finwë,” came the equally soft reply.

Finwë opened the door and approached the bed where Erelfinë seemed to be sleeping calmly. He still looked pale and gaunt, but the shadows under his eyes were starting to fade and he no longer closed his eyes as Elves did when sick. Erelfinë looked so young, as young as he was when he died at Olwë’s hands. 

Even after they tortured him, and turned him into an Orc, Erelfinë had looked beautiful. His long, golden hair was never cut off, and his grey eyes had become brighter, even if disturbingly haunted. Erelfinë had never lost his spirit completely, but it had almost cost him his sanity.

Ingwë gestured for Finwë to follow him and they sat together in the settee near the window. They were close enough to watch Erelfinë without waking him with their conversation. 

“I hate to see him like this,” Ingwë said, his voice sad. “He tries so hard to adapt to these lands, but every setback makes me despair that he will never achieve it.”

“He will get better, my friend. He was better until he sang in my Halls. I believe that he was simply enjoying the conversation with Maitimo, and quite aware of the effect he had on my grandson. I knew that once he saw Findekáno he would understand and be more careful, but I did not realize that it would also trigger bad memories. That was when his song turned into something wild and dangerous.”

“He remembered the day when he saved us, you mean.”

Finwë nodded. “He must have sensed that Maitimo and Findekáno love each other…” He sighed. “It was so incredibly irresponsible to ask you to meet me out of the settlement that day.”

“I could have said no, Finwë. I almost did, but I knew that you would leave anyway if I did not go with you. I was irresponsible too.”

Finwë looked down briefly. “Do you think that we would have chosen love over duty if Erelfinë had not been taken by the Shadows?”

Ingwë took Finwë’s hands in his own. “Does it matter now? You are happy, and you have been blessed with strong and beautiful children. I am happy too, and I love Altarillë and my children.”

“You are right. I love Indis, and I have loved Míriel with all my heart. I still love you, but I no longer feel the pain of our separation.”

Ingwë smiled softly. “I feel no pain either, even if my love for you is as great as it was back then. All that remains to be done is to help those we hurt with our actions.”

“That includes Olwë.”

Ingwë sighed. “Yes, that includes Olwë. I wonder if staying with the Teleri for so long was good for Erelfinë, though.”

“It was good for Erelfinë, I believe. He told me that they finally spoke about what happened, and forgave each other for it. 

“It must have been something terrible to be forced to kill a friend, even if Erelfinë asked him to do it. I could never have done it.”

“Neither could I.”

“That is why I asked Olwë to do it,” Erelfinë said, startling them. 

Ingwë stood and approached his cousin’s bed. “Erelfinë, we never meant to disturb you with our conversation.”

“You did not.”

“Still, we woke you,” Finwë said. “How are you feeling?” 

“I am glad that you two are here,” Erelfinë said. He ran a hand through his hair and felt his face with his fingers. “And I am glad to be myself again, whatever that means now.”

“You are our beloved friend,” Ingwë said. “We would not be here if you had not saved us.”

“Your grandsons could have died in that cave. I would understand if you did not consider me a friend anymore. I saved you both, but I have killed your kin too, snaring them away with my song the same I did with Findekáno and Morifinwë.” 

“It was not your fault,” Finwë said firmly. “I have spoken to Maitimo and he understands. I am certain that Findekáno and Morifinwë will understand too.”

The self-loathing in Erelfinë’s eyes startled Finwë. “So they know I was an Orc, and feel pity for me.”

“They know you were captured and tortured by Melkor’s creatures because Ingwë and I were fools enough to leave our settlements and walk alone so far away. They know of your strength, Erelfinë.”

“My strength, you say? I am an insane Vanya.” 

“Fëanáro should never have said that.”

“No, he should not,” Ingwë agreed, “but you must understand that Fëanáro himself has never recovered of his mother’s death.”

Erelfinë looked at them in silence for what seemed to be a very long time. When he spoke again, he sounded calmer.

“Your son is restless, Finwë. I felt more than the anger of a father when he tried to attack me. The other one, Nolofinwë, would have hit me too if he were not so concerned about the proper behavior of a prince. Talk to them, not about me, but about their eldest sons. This love they feel for each other will not be restrained forever.”

“I know. I thank you for your counsel.”

“Now leave me alone, so I can bathe and dress properly for today’s journey.” Erelfinë smiled, and for a moment he looked like the young and carefree minstrel he had been. Finwë wished he could do something to erase the pain from his friend’s spirit. 

“We will wait for you outside,” Ingwë said. He placed a hand on Finwë’s shoulder. “Will you break your fast with us, Finwë?”

“Of course he will,” Erelfinë said. “He must be starving while we speak.”

Finwë smiled. “That is precisely why I came here so early, my friends.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Epilogue**

It had been a nice day, Findekáno mused, as he watched Maitimo sleep on their makeshift bed. They had left Tirion together two days ago, and traveled north to a new camping area. After all that had happened a few weeks ago, even Finwë seemed uncomfortable whenever they mentioned their camping grounds south from Tirion. So they had chosen a different place, on the skirts of a beech forest, near a creek that seemed to sing with Lord Ulmo’s power. 

It looked safe enough. 

They would have to come here with Istië and Nerindë the next time the Vanya Elf-maiden visited the city. She was back at Valmar now, and would not visit Tirion until the Midsummer festival. Her parents were not as understanding as Nerindë’s, so she was bound to stay in the Vanyarin city for a long time. 

_At least I can see Maitimo every day…_

There was no perfect world in Arda marred, and sometimes Findekáno wondered if his love for his cousin was due to that marring. His parents certainly seemed to believe that something was wrong with him. Finwë thought differently, which gave Findekáno hope that he would be able to love Maitimo openly one day. 

For now Findekáno’s parents were more focused on their youngest son. After the celebration at the palace, Turukáno had started courting Elenwë and it seemed that they would be betrothed soon. They had probably expected Findekáno to court Istië, but surely they knew now that they were only friends. 

The celebration at the palace had been a great family reunion. Not only Turukáno and Findaráto had managed to get along with Curufinwë, which reminded Findekáno of the old days when the three young Elves played together in Finwë’s garden, but their sires had managed to do the same too. Findekáno had been glad to see his father and Maitimo’s sitting together, drinking wine and discussing about the changes in law and language calmly. It had gone smoothly enough and this time Arafinwë had been able to just relax and intervene in the conversation without needing to stop his brothers from starting a fight. 

As for his cousins, Findaráto had managed to ask Amarië to dance, while Curufinwë had danced with Telpelindë all night. Makalaurë had been at the feast too, but he had come alone. It was sad that he and Isilmë were not living together any longer. Maitimo had said nothing about it, so Findekáno had not asked. Morifinwë had come too, though he had spent most of the time in the garden, doing Eru knew what. Angaráto and Aikánaro had managed to sneak into Indis’ orchard and eat berries until they were sick – an old tradition among Finwë’s grandsons – and Huan had come rushing after Tyelkormo, throwing him on his back in the middle of the dancing halls. This last had been weird. 

Findekáno was about to wake Maitimo when his cousin stirred, murmuring something about dark hair. Findekáno smiled. His hair was loose, as Maitimo liked it, and he shivered at the memory of long fingers slowly combing it. He leaned close and brushed his cousin’s lips with his own.

“Maitimo…”

Strong arms encircled his waist, even before Maitimo’s eyes focused, and Findekáno allowed his lover to pull him closer. They kissed, savoring the moment. They would have to return to the city soon, but for now Maitimo was his alone.

“Is it not too early to be awake?” Maitimo asked, still holding him tight. 

“I woke up, and the sight was too beautiful to go to sleep again.”

Maitimo smiled. “Not as beautiful as the sight I have before me now.”

Findekáno buried a hand in Maitimo’s red hair and kissed him again, slowly making a path to his cousin’s earlobe, his other hand searching for warm skin under the covers. Maitimo shivered and his body arched against Findekáno’s. Their passion unleashed once again, and the tiny voice that told Findekáno that they should stop and return to the city was drowned by the heat of their touches. 

“Maitimo, let me…”

“I am yours, Finno…”

Findekáno took a brief moment to look at his cousin, lips red and slightly swollen, flushed skin, and the glorious red mane all around him, and then he simply sank into the pool of bliss that was making love to Maitimo. His cousin shuddered under his touch and moved even closer than it seemed possible. They were as one, and for a moment Findekáno wished he could feel his lover’s emotions. It was brief, though, because even when taken, Maitimo was a demanding lover. 

“Take me, Finno. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Findekáno whispered and then he did as his cousin asked, taking his time to make sure that Maitimo felt as much pleasure as possible, until he could no longer restrain himself anymore and fell into the wonderful world of colors and sensations of their lovemaking.


End file.
